3 reasons why you aren’t reaching your goals!
So, how’s your new years resolution going…
If you’re anything like me, you’d probably agree that it could definitely be going better.
But, here we are, 9 months into the year ~*~2022~*~ and how many of those lofty goals have we achieved? Maybe you’re reading this saying “okay Bee, speak for yourself I did complete my goals”, then I say a big ole, HELL YEAH to you my friend. I do hope you still get something out of this, and please leave a comment letting me know how I can add value to your life! For the rest of us I want you to know that there are a number of reasons you may not be meeting your goals and by looking at the process of goals setting differently you may be able to form better, challenging, and more achievable goals in the future.
First of all, I want to tell you why setting a great goal can be the difference between success and perceived failure. When you set a great goal for yourself it will increase the chances of you reaching that goal, and by reaching that goal, you will experience benefits of that achievement making it easier to achieve the next goal as well. But, if you can’t ever get that first goal achieved you’re at a major disadvantage when its time to work on a new or different goal. So, the magic question is, “How do I write a great goal for myself?”. Here are my Top 3 reasons your goals are not becoming realities.
#1 Your Goals are not written ‘SMART’.
SMART is a formula for goal setting that has been around for a while. I first heard of SMART goals when I was in ROTC during college. The acronym SMART stands for:
Specific
Measurable
Action-Based / Achievable
Relevant
Time-Bound
Although I knew about SMART goals I had never liked to use them because I didn’t always know how. Sometimes my goals didn’t feel like they should have deadlines or might even be about stopping a behavior so this formula didn’t always make sense to me. If you’re curious about how to implement the SMART goal formula a little better let me know in the comments so I can cover that in depth but for now here are the basics:
Specific, this is the mission of your goal. Not a detailed plan but just the think of your who, what, when, where, and why to decide the actual mission you are on.
Measurable, this is the way you can determine if the goal has been met in a tangible way. My favorite way of implementing this one for myself is by literally giving myself golden stars for going to the gym on the fridge calendar.
(You’d be surprised the amount of dopamine I get from peeling those little stars off and sticking them permanently to paper.)
Ahem, Anyway,
Action-Based / Achievable, you may have seen this written either way but in this case I consider the action based piece to mean that the entire goal is based on doing or taking an action rather than stopping an action. The Achievable piece of this means that you can do the goal but it will take effort that you are motivated to do.
Relevant, means that the mission and goal itself aligns with who you are and your larger goals for the future. This is deeply personal and may require some self-discovery if you’re not sure about it.
Time-Bound, not only means the amount of time it takes you to do this particular goal but also about the timing of this goal. Sometimes a goal may be more long term than once thought when you realistically look at what is required of the goal. Having a realistic completion date can help you in planning action steps toward meeting the goal.
#2 Your Goals are too challenging or not challenging enough.
Another common problem with setting goals for ourselves is that we can be unrealistic with ourselves by either being our biggest critic or by being overly confident based on our previous actions.
So, setting realistic goals that are challenging is actually based on your level of readiness to change and that is where things get tricky. Coaches specialize in not only identifying a clients level of readiness to change, but they also assist clients in moving forward and becoming more ready and able to change. Something to keep in mind for now is when you set a goal is to pick a goal that will not make you anxious and will not be so boring you forget to, or don’t want to do it when the time comes.
#3 Your Goals aren’t actually your goals.
If you are struggling to achieve your lifelong goals it might be time to reevaluate the goals you set all those years ago for yourself. People change, we learn, we grow, and we have experiences that shape us in many ways. That’s why it’s important for your plans to grow with you. My 7th grade self wanted to be a forensic photographer until my mom asked me, “You know you’d have to take pictures of crime scenes right?” I just really liked CSI: Las Vegas!
The point is, maybe you should consider doing a little reflection exercise.
What ideas about life do you have that influence you to feel like you “should”, “have to”, or are “supposed to do” something particular?
Write down as 3 things as you can to complete this statement “ I love to…”.
Write down 3 different ways you identify yourself and what values you have based on those identities.
After you have answered these 3 questions snag a copy of my FREE 30 day self-discovery Journal to help you do some reflecting on your wants and goals in life.
Thank you so much for reading, if you found this helpful please consider forwarding it to someone else who would benefit from it. You can also sign up for the beehive below if you want more content like this, resources, and freebies!
